1. Falling in love.
2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
3. A hot shower.
4. No lines at the supermarket
5. A special glance.
6. Getting mail
7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
11. Finding the sweater you want is on sale for half price.
12. Chocolate milkshake. (or vanilla!) (or strawberry)
13. A long distance phone call.
14. A bubble bath.
15. Giggling.
16. A good conversation.
17. The beach
18. Finding a 20 note in your coat from last winter.
19. Laughing at yourself.
20. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
21. Running through sprinklers.
22. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
23. Having someone tell you that you’re beautiful.
24. Laughing at an inside joke.
25. Friends.
26. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
27. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
28. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).
29. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
30. Playing with a new puppy.
31. Having someone play with your hair.
32. Sweet dreams.
33. Hot chocolate.
34. Road trips with friends.
35. Swinging on swings.
36. Wrapping presents under the Christmas tree while eating cookies and drinking your favorite tipple.
37. Song lyrics printed inside your new CD so you can sing along without feeling stupid.
38. Going to a really good concert.
39. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
40. Winning a really competitive game.
41. Making chocolate chip cookies.
42. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.
43. Spending time with close friends.
44. Seeing smiles and hearing laughter from your friends.
45. Holding hands with someone you care about.
46. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.
47. Riding the best roller coasters over and over.
48. Watching the expression on someone’s face as they open a much desired present from you.
49. Watching the sunrise.
50. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.
The Natural Lows
1. Falling into a ditch
2. Crying so hard your ass hurts.
3. A hot shower of lead
4. Being in the express lane at the supermarket behind an old lady with 15 items and a checkbook
5. A specious glance.
6. Getting hate mail
7. Taking a drive on a pretty road and taking the turn too fast and falling off a cliff
8. Hearing Rush Limbaugh on the radio.
9. Lying on a bed of nails listening to the rain outside.
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer, so hot your face burns off
11. Finding the sweater you want is on sale for half price and then having some bitch grab it first.
12. Horse anus milkshake. (or bull balls!) (or live tomato horn worms in goat blood gravy) - Flagrant Fear Factor reference
13. A long distance phone call – collect from Bulgaria
14. A bubble bath where the hair dryer falls in
15. Giggling at a funeral.
16. A one sided conversation with an evil mime
17. A bitch
18. Finding a leftover glass of moldy eggnog in your coat from last winter.
19. Laughing at a drunk in the gutter.
20. Midnight phone calls that last for hours from your drunken ex-girl friend
21. Running through a minefield.
22. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all and then getting taken away by the men in white coats.
23. Having someone tell you that you suck major league big time
24. Laughing at an inside joke without knowing why it’s funny because you’re afraid of getting fired
25. Enemies.
26. Accidentally overhearing someone telling lies about you.
27. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to live and you were hoping to die in your sleep.
28. Your first felony arrest (either the very first or with a new partner).
29. Alienating new friends or spending time backstabbing some old ones.
30. Playing with a new hand grenade.
31. Having someone put lice in your hair.
32. Horrible nightmares.
33. Hot wax dripping on your tongue.
34. Road trips with friends and getting kidnapped by Columbian narco-terrorists.
35. Swinging on a gallows.
36. Taking your kids’ presents from under the Christmas tree and auctioning them on Ebay to pay for gambling debts.
37. Song lyrics printed inside your new CD so you can sing along and dance like a complete moron.
38. Going to a really good lynching.
39. Making eye contact with a cute stranger, then having him stalk you and you have to get a restraining order.
40. Winning a really competitive game, then doing the Ultra-Gloat dance on the losers grave
41. Making PCP brownies and giving the unsuspecting girl scouts for revenge.
42. Having your friends send you homemade suicide bombs.
43. Spending time with Jojo Bubba Jr. and Leroy in the prison shower.
44. Seeing smiles and hearing laughter from your friends, who now shun you for your crime spree
45. Holding hands with OJ Simpson.
46. Running into an old friend and then driving off before finding out if they need an ambulance because your insurance has expired..
47. Riding the best roller coasters over and over until you barf all over some 5 year old kid
48. Watching the expression on someone’s face as they open a box containing the head of their favorite horse.
49. Watching the sunrise over Baghdad as the B-2’s start carpet bombing
50. Getting out of bed every morning and hoping it will all end soon.
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