A Fable
Once upon a time, there lived in the East Woods a hermit named Sam. Sam was old of body, but young at heart. All the birds and animals of the forest liked him and they were his best friends. Sam didn't want to be a hermit, but the evil witch Phoenix had put a spell on him and had broken his heart. Then he went to see a fortune teller hoping for good news and was told that soon his meager income would be taken away by the Sheriff. Sam was very sad. What would happen to him?
POOF! Out of nowhere appeared an Irish Jinni. She told Sam to find the BATS. The BATS held the secret of the IMPROV. She said that the BATS would teach him to be a better person. The Jinni put Sam under a good spell that compelled him to find the BATS. Little did Sam know that the BATS would soon change his whole life. He told the Jinni that he would leave the woods and search Magic City for the BATS.
Sam hadn't been to Magic City for a very long time. He was very unsure of himself. He had never heard of the IMPROV. What could it be?
When Sam first saw the BATS, he was so amazed that he was speechless. The BATS were a company of singers, dancers, wizards and sorcerers. They played games, sang and danced the night away. Sam was so happy. Why hadn't he found out about the IMPROV earlier. He had so much time to make up. The BATS told him that he could play with them after learning the rules. Even the rules were amazing: Accept, never deny. Make your partner look good. Be free, don't censor yourself. Don't judge others and they won't judge you. The most wonderful thing was that even though there was a competition, both teams helped each other.
That night, Sam made a promise to himself. His new quest in life was to be playing with the BATS, adding to the enjoyment of others, within one year. He would need lots of help, since he had been hiding in the woods for so many years. He had no experience, but that didn't bother him. He had seen his destiny. He wanted to be part of the magic.
It was spring time. The May flowers were blooming. Nature was renewing itself after the cold winter. Spring is Sam's favorite time of year. It is the time of year for new experiences, new adventures and a time to shake off the winter doldrums. He wasn't very happy this particular spring. His heart had not mended and his income would soon disappear.
Sam traveled across the big stream to the meadow where the BATS held forth with their mystical exploration of the IMPROV. He met one of the few women that has had a positive influence on his life. She was more than just an ordinary woman. Her name was Babe. She had the magic. It swirled around her like a vaporous snake. She could metamorphose her body, her face and her emotions in an instant. From beautiful and sexy to mean and ugly to lonely and sad before your very eyes. Sam was astounded. She was special. He had to know more about the magic. Babe was the one to teach him.
Babe started Sam on his way. She brought him into the wonderful world of the IMPROV. He met other troupes of magicians. They expanded his mind. His creativity, long dormant, was revived. His whole life changed from ordinary to extraordinary. The IMPROV allowed Sam to endure when the Sheriff took away his income.
Now it is four years later. Spring will soon be here. Sam has a new source of income that is greater than before and is living a brand new castle, but something is missing. A different woman. One to share the wonderful world that surrounds Sam. A woman that can make another great change to Sam's life. Someone with a caring heart, a gentle soul and a loving smile. A woman that brings joy to any room she enters. A woman that desires a partner as giving as she is. Someone that deserves the best Sam can give.
Sam has heard whispers...small voices of the Fairies in the Woods. They are saying that there is such a woman, but Sam must search far and wide in order to find her....
The dance has begun...
1996
Sunday, February 19, 2006
Carbubble's Tempermant - The Portrait of the Mastermind (iNTj)
The Portrait of the Mastermind (iNTj)
Of the four aspects of strategic analysis and definition, it is the contingency planning or entailment organizing role that reaches the highest development in Masterminds. Entailing or contingency planning is not an informative activity, rather it is a directive one in which the planner tells others what to do and in what order to do it. As the organizing capabilities the Masterminds increase so does their inclination to take charge of whatever is going on.
It is in their abilities that Masterminds differ from the other Rationals, while in most of their attitudes they are just like the others. However there is one attitude that sets them apart from other Rationals: they tend to be much more self-confident than the rest, having, for obscure reasons, developed a very strong will. They are rather rare, comprising no more than, say, one percent of the population. Being very judicious, decisions come naturally to them; indeed, they can hardly rest until they have things settled, decided, and set. They are the people who are able to formulate coherent and comprehensive contingency plans, hence contingency organizers or "entailers."
Masterminds will adopt ideas only if they are useful, which is to say if they work efficiently toward accomplishing the Mastermind's well-defined goals. Natural leaders, Masterminds are not at all eager to take command of projects or groups, preferring to stay in the background until others demonstrate their inability to lead. Once in charge, however, Masterminds are the supreme pragmatists, seeing reality as a crucible for refining their strategies for goal-directed action. In a sense, Masterminds approach reality as they would a giant chess board, always seeking strategies that have a high payoff, and always devising contingency plans in case of error or adversity. To the Mastermind, organizational structure and operational procedures are never arbitrary, never set in concrete, but are quite malleable and can be changed, improved, streamlined. In their drive for efficient action, Masterminds are the most open-minded of all the types. No idea is too far-fetched to be entertained-if it is useful. Masterminds are natural brainstormers, always open to new concepts and, in fact, aggressively seeking them. They are also alert to the consequences of applying new ideas or positions. Theories which cannot be made to work are quickly discarded by the Masterminds. On the other hand, Masterminds can be quite ruthless in implementing effective ideas, seldom counting personal cost in terms of time and energy.
Of the four aspects of strategic analysis and definition, it is the contingency planning or entailment organizing role that reaches the highest development in Masterminds. Entailing or contingency planning is not an informative activity, rather it is a directive one in which the planner tells others what to do and in what order to do it. As the organizing capabilities the Masterminds increase so does their inclination to take charge of whatever is going on.
It is in their abilities that Masterminds differ from the other Rationals, while in most of their attitudes they are just like the others. However there is one attitude that sets them apart from other Rationals: they tend to be much more self-confident than the rest, having, for obscure reasons, developed a very strong will. They are rather rare, comprising no more than, say, one percent of the population. Being very judicious, decisions come naturally to them; indeed, they can hardly rest until they have things settled, decided, and set. They are the people who are able to formulate coherent and comprehensive contingency plans, hence contingency organizers or "entailers."
Masterminds will adopt ideas only if they are useful, which is to say if they work efficiently toward accomplishing the Mastermind's well-defined goals. Natural leaders, Masterminds are not at all eager to take command of projects or groups, preferring to stay in the background until others demonstrate their inability to lead. Once in charge, however, Masterminds are the supreme pragmatists, seeing reality as a crucible for refining their strategies for goal-directed action. In a sense, Masterminds approach reality as they would a giant chess board, always seeking strategies that have a high payoff, and always devising contingency plans in case of error or adversity. To the Mastermind, organizational structure and operational procedures are never arbitrary, never set in concrete, but are quite malleable and can be changed, improved, streamlined. In their drive for efficient action, Masterminds are the most open-minded of all the types. No idea is too far-fetched to be entertained-if it is useful. Masterminds are natural brainstormers, always open to new concepts and, in fact, aggressively seeking them. They are also alert to the consequences of applying new ideas or positions. Theories which cannot be made to work are quickly discarded by the Masterminds. On the other hand, Masterminds can be quite ruthless in implementing effective ideas, seldom counting personal cost in terms of time and energy.
Natural Highs & Natural Lows - Match Them Up
The Natural Highs
1. Falling in love.
2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
3. A hot shower.
4. No lines at the supermarket
5. A special glance.
6. Getting mail
7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
11. Finding the sweater you want is on sale for half price.
12. Chocolate milkshake. (or vanilla!) (or strawberry)
13. A long distance phone call.
14. A bubble bath.
15. Giggling.
16. A good conversation.
17. The beach
18. Finding a 20 note in your coat from last winter.
19. Laughing at yourself.
20. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
21. Running through sprinklers.
22. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
23. Having someone tell you that you’re beautiful.
24. Laughing at an inside joke.
25. Friends.
26. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
27. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
28. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).
29. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
30. Playing with a new puppy.
31. Having someone play with your hair.
32. Sweet dreams.
33. Hot chocolate.
34. Road trips with friends.
35. Swinging on swings.
36. Wrapping presents under the Christmas tree while eating cookies and drinking your favorite tipple.
37. Song lyrics printed inside your new CD so you can sing along without feeling stupid.
38. Going to a really good concert.
39. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
40. Winning a really competitive game.
41. Making chocolate chip cookies.
42. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.
43. Spending time with close friends.
44. Seeing smiles and hearing laughter from your friends.
45. Holding hands with someone you care about.
46. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.
47. Riding the best roller coasters over and over.
48. Watching the expression on someone’s face as they open a much desired present from you.
49. Watching the sunrise.
50. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.
The Natural Lows
1. Falling in love.
2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
3. A hot shower.
4. No lines at the supermarket
5. A special glance.
6. Getting mail
7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
11. Finding the sweater you want is on sale for half price.
12. Chocolate milkshake. (or vanilla!) (or strawberry)
13. A long distance phone call.
14. A bubble bath.
15. Giggling.
16. A good conversation.
17. The beach
18. Finding a 20 note in your coat from last winter.
19. Laughing at yourself.
20. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
21. Running through sprinklers.
22. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
23. Having someone tell you that you’re beautiful.
24. Laughing at an inside joke.
25. Friends.
26. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
27. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
28. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).
29. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
30. Playing with a new puppy.
31. Having someone play with your hair.
32. Sweet dreams.
33. Hot chocolate.
34. Road trips with friends.
35. Swinging on swings.
36. Wrapping presents under the Christmas tree while eating cookies and drinking your favorite tipple.
37. Song lyrics printed inside your new CD so you can sing along without feeling stupid.
38. Going to a really good concert.
39. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
40. Winning a really competitive game.
41. Making chocolate chip cookies.
42. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.
43. Spending time with close friends.
44. Seeing smiles and hearing laughter from your friends.
45. Holding hands with someone you care about.
46. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.
47. Riding the best roller coasters over and over.
48. Watching the expression on someone’s face as they open a much desired present from you.
49. Watching the sunrise.
50. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.
The Natural Lows
1. Falling into a ditch
2. Crying so hard your ass hurts.
3. A hot shower of lead
4. Being in the express lane at the supermarket behind an old lady with 15 items and a checkbook
5. A specious glance.
6. Getting hate mail
7. Taking a drive on a pretty road and taking the turn too fast and falling off a cliff
8. Hearing Rush Limbaugh on the radio.
9. Lying on a bed of nails listening to the rain outside.
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer, so hot your face burns off
11. Finding the sweater you want is on sale for half price and then having some bitch grab it first.
12. Horse anus milkshake. (or bull balls!) (or live tomato horn worms in goat blood gravy) - Flagrant Fear Factor reference
13. A long distance phone call – collect from Bulgaria
14. A bubble bath where the hair dryer falls in
15. Giggling at a funeral.
16. A one sided conversation with an evil mime
17. A bitch
18. Finding a leftover glass of moldy eggnog in your coat from last winter.
19. Laughing at a drunk in the gutter.
20. Midnight phone calls that last for hours from your drunken ex-girl friend
21. Running through a minefield.
22. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all and then getting taken away by the men in white coats.
23. Having someone tell you that you suck major league big time
24. Laughing at an inside joke without knowing why it’s funny because you’re afraid of getting fired
25. Enemies.
26. Accidentally overhearing someone telling lies about you.
27. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to live and you were hoping to die in your sleep.
28. Your first felony arrest (either the very first or with a new partner).
29. Alienating new friends or spending time backstabbing some old ones.
30. Playing with a new hand grenade.
31. Having someone put lice in your hair.
32. Horrible nightmares.
33. Hot wax dripping on your tongue.
34. Road trips with friends and getting kidnapped by Columbian narco-terrorists.
35. Swinging on a gallows.
36. Taking your kids’ presents from under the Christmas tree and auctioning them on Ebay to pay for gambling debts.
37. Song lyrics printed inside your new CD so you can sing along and dance like a complete moron.
38. Going to a really good lynching.
39. Making eye contact with a cute stranger, then having him stalk you and you have to get a restraining order.
40. Winning a really competitive game, then doing the Ultra-Gloat dance on the losers grave
41. Making PCP brownies and giving the unsuspecting girl scouts for revenge.
42. Having your friends send you homemade suicide bombs.
43. Spending time with Jojo Bubba Jr. and Leroy in the prison shower.
44. Seeing smiles and hearing laughter from your friends, who now shun you for your crime spree
45. Holding hands with OJ Simpson.
46. Running into an old friend and then driving off before finding out if they need an ambulance because your insurance has expired..
47. Riding the best roller coasters over and over until you barf all over some 5 year old kid
48. Watching the expression on someone’s face as they open a box containing the head of their favorite horse.
49. Watching the sunrise over Baghdad as the B-2’s start carpet bombing
50. Getting out of bed every morning and hoping it will all end soon.
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Open letter to Reed Hastings - President of Netflix
Dear Mr. Hastings,
I’ve been a Netflix member since February 2001, so this is my 5 year anniversary. I’ve been an extremely happy customer until recently. I know that part of the reason that Netflix has been so successful is the word of mouth free advertising from people like me and you’ve expanded your customer base by 1.6 million customers in 2005.
This expansion of the customer base has caused you to “throttle” customers like me who love to watch movies so much and are tired of paying too much at the movie theater and getting kicked from behind and that causes most of the new DVD releases on movies that came out in 2005 to be stuck on my list in long wait or very long wait.
This is from an MSNBC article:
Los Gatos, Calif.-based Netflix didn't publicly acknowledge it differentiates among customers until revising its "terms of use" in January 2005 — four months after a San Francisco subscriber filed a class-action lawsuit alleging that the company had deceptively promised one-day delivery of most DVDs.
"In determining priority for shipping and inventory allocation, we give priority to those members who receive the fewest DVDs through our service," Netflix's revised policy now reads. The statement specifically warns that heavy renters are more likely to encounter shipping delays and less likely to immediately be sent their top choices. Few customers have complained about this "fairness algorithm," according to Netflix CEO Reed Hastings.
"We have unbelievably high customer satisfaction ratings," Hastings said during a recent interview. "Most of our customers feel like Netflix is an incredible value."
I would like to put myself on the list of the few customers that feel that Netflix is an incredible value and are also complaining about the “fairness algorithm” directly to you. I don’t think it’s fair for me to see all the movies I’d like to be watching in my friends list of movies they just received whereas on my list it says very long wait which can be up to 4 months according to your website.
March of the Penguins was released on DVD on November 29, 2005 and I had it on my list from the beginning and at or near the top since then and it is finally supposed to arrive today. Netflix is one of the reasons I don’t go out the movies that often because the DVD is released within 6 months, but now I have to wait another 3 months because I like watching movies.
I understand that you make more money on people who watch less movies, but I think you need to be more fair to long time customers like me and beef up the inventory on new popular movies. At least I turn them over quickly and get them back into circulation.
Below is the current top of my queue:
Deal of the Century - Very Long Wait
The 40-Year-Old Virgin - Very Long Wait
Flightplan - Very Long Wait
The Constant Gardner - Long Wait
Two for the Money - Long Wait
Cinderella Man - Long Wait
What really burns me up is that Deal of the Century is an old movie that just got released this week and Netflix didn’t even have it on the list until I send 3 title requests and now I have to wait up to 4 months. There is another group of new popular movies releasing on DVD in the next few weeks – Domino, North Country, Ice Harvest and Where the Truth Lies, so I’m guessing I’ll have 4 more on the very long wait list.
I hope you take this letter seriously and hopefully improve the already excellent Netflix service.
I’ve been a Netflix member since February 2001, so this is my 5 year anniversary. I’ve been an extremely happy customer until recently. I know that part of the reason that Netflix has been so successful is the word of mouth free advertising from people like me and you’ve expanded your customer base by 1.6 million customers in 2005.
This expansion of the customer base has caused you to “throttle” customers like me who love to watch movies so much and are tired of paying too much at the movie theater and getting kicked from behind and that causes most of the new DVD releases on movies that came out in 2005 to be stuck on my list in long wait or very long wait.
This is from an MSNBC article:
Los Gatos, Calif.-based Netflix didn't publicly acknowledge it differentiates among customers until revising its "terms of use" in January 2005 — four months after a San Francisco subscriber filed a class-action lawsuit alleging that the company had deceptively promised one-day delivery of most DVDs.
"In determining priority for shipping and inventory allocation, we give priority to those members who receive the fewest DVDs through our service," Netflix's revised policy now reads. The statement specifically warns that heavy renters are more likely to encounter shipping delays and less likely to immediately be sent their top choices. Few customers have complained about this "fairness algorithm," according to Netflix CEO Reed Hastings.
"We have unbelievably high customer satisfaction ratings," Hastings said during a recent interview. "Most of our customers feel like Netflix is an incredible value."
I would like to put myself on the list of the few customers that feel that Netflix is an incredible value and are also complaining about the “fairness algorithm” directly to you. I don’t think it’s fair for me to see all the movies I’d like to be watching in my friends list of movies they just received whereas on my list it says very long wait which can be up to 4 months according to your website.
March of the Penguins was released on DVD on November 29, 2005 and I had it on my list from the beginning and at or near the top since then and it is finally supposed to arrive today. Netflix is one of the reasons I don’t go out the movies that often because the DVD is released within 6 months, but now I have to wait another 3 months because I like watching movies.
I understand that you make more money on people who watch less movies, but I think you need to be more fair to long time customers like me and beef up the inventory on new popular movies. At least I turn them over quickly and get them back into circulation.
Below is the current top of my queue:
Deal of the Century - Very Long Wait
The 40-Year-Old Virgin - Very Long Wait
Flightplan - Very Long Wait
The Constant Gardner - Long Wait
Two for the Money - Long Wait
Cinderella Man - Long Wait
What really burns me up is that Deal of the Century is an old movie that just got released this week and Netflix didn’t even have it on the list until I send 3 title requests and now I have to wait up to 4 months. There is another group of new popular movies releasing on DVD in the next few weeks – Domino, North Country, Ice Harvest and Where the Truth Lies, so I’m guessing I’ll have 4 more on the very long wait list.
I hope you take this letter seriously and hopefully improve the already excellent Netflix service.
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
A Visit from St. Mick (Aussie Style)
A Visit From St. Mick (Aussie Style)
(With apologies to Clement Clarke Moore)
'Twas the night before Christmas, in the land of Oz,
Uncle Jocko was over, you know, the one with the schnoz.
The Fosters were flowing, there was a smell in the air,
We knew what it was, we just didn't know where.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While we put ice bags on top of our heads.
We were waiting for St. Mick, the one with the swag,
Last year he showed up driving a Jag.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
Told the wife to check it out before she gets fatter.
Away to the window she flew like a flash,
She must have thought he was bringing some cash.
The moon on her breasts gave me a big thrill,
I had better slow down or I'll be needing a pill.
I went to the window and put on my socks,
To my surprise, I saw a beer wagon towed by eight tiny crocs.
The driver was bent over, he seemed to be sick,
I knew in a moment - It must be St. Mick!
They were crawling real slow, they must have been lame,
He was slurring his words as he called them by name.
"Now Ripper!, now Gripper!, now Poofter and Vixen!
I'd remember the rest, if I wasn't so Blitzen!
To the top of the porch and over the walls,
If you can't fly any higher, I'll rip off your balls!"
So, up to the housetop the crocodiles flew,
With a wagon of Vegemite - and St. Mick, too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the wall,
The scraping and scratching of each tiny claw.
My head was spinning, I was feeling quite moldy,
When St. Mick waltzes in, drinkin' a coldie!
He was all dressed in leather, but his clothes were all wet,
It was hot out tonight, he smelled like Goana sweat.
A bundle of Beer he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a swagman just opening his pack.
His eyes, they were bloodshot! His sneer, how scary!
His cheeks and his nose were as red as a cherry;
"St. Mick!", I exclaimed, "Have you got something for us?
I've been drinkin' all night, my right leg must be porous!"
With a shake of his head, drool sprayed from his lips,
He spotted the women and grabbed for their hips.
He missed with his grab and went straight back to work,
He filled all the beer steins; then turned with a jerk,
And sticking his finger inside of his nose,
Blew out a big one that scared off some crows.
He fell into the wagon and broke some of the booze,
And away they all flew like they were chased by some roos.
We had enough coldies for our party to liven,
"Happy Christmas to all, and don't you go driven'!"
tlc - 1991
(With apologies to Clement Clarke Moore)
'Twas the night before Christmas, in the land of Oz,
Uncle Jocko was over, you know, the one with the schnoz.
The Fosters were flowing, there was a smell in the air,
We knew what it was, we just didn't know where.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While we put ice bags on top of our heads.
We were waiting for St. Mick, the one with the swag,
Last year he showed up driving a Jag.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
Told the wife to check it out before she gets fatter.
Away to the window she flew like a flash,
She must have thought he was bringing some cash.
The moon on her breasts gave me a big thrill,
I had better slow down or I'll be needing a pill.
I went to the window and put on my socks,
To my surprise, I saw a beer wagon towed by eight tiny crocs.
The driver was bent over, he seemed to be sick,
I knew in a moment - It must be St. Mick!
They were crawling real slow, they must have been lame,
He was slurring his words as he called them by name.
"Now Ripper!, now Gripper!, now Poofter and Vixen!
I'd remember the rest, if I wasn't so Blitzen!
To the top of the porch and over the walls,
If you can't fly any higher, I'll rip off your balls!"
So, up to the housetop the crocodiles flew,
With a wagon of Vegemite - and St. Mick, too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the wall,
The scraping and scratching of each tiny claw.
My head was spinning, I was feeling quite moldy,
When St. Mick waltzes in, drinkin' a coldie!
He was all dressed in leather, but his clothes were all wet,
It was hot out tonight, he smelled like Goana sweat.
A bundle of Beer he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a swagman just opening his pack.
His eyes, they were bloodshot! His sneer, how scary!
His cheeks and his nose were as red as a cherry;
"St. Mick!", I exclaimed, "Have you got something for us?
I've been drinkin' all night, my right leg must be porous!"
With a shake of his head, drool sprayed from his lips,
He spotted the women and grabbed for their hips.
He missed with his grab and went straight back to work,
He filled all the beer steins; then turned with a jerk,
And sticking his finger inside of his nose,
Blew out a big one that scared off some crows.
He fell into the wagon and broke some of the booze,
And away they all flew like they were chased by some roos.
We had enough coldies for our party to liven,
"Happy Christmas to all, and don't you go driven'!"
tlc - 1991
Monday, December 12, 2005
What kind of reindeer are you?
This is what kind of reindeer I am...
| You Are Cupid |
 A total romantic, you're always crushing on a new reindeer. Why You're Naughty: You've caused so much drama, all the reindeers aren't speaking to each other. Why You're Nice: You have a knack for playing matchmaker. You even hooked Rudolph up! |
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
Strange, Wierd & Funny Quotes
I've collected these quotes over the years and I just wanted to share them with the world... there is no rhyme or reason for them, they just are what they are. Use them wisely if you dare.
"Getting beat by an 8 year old is brutal." - Ken Coates 11/27/05 while playing bumper pool with Will & Katie. Katie said it would be brutal to get beat by a 3 year old.
It's not necessarily necessary! 10/87
What is two days to a sheep?
I'm not loafing, I work so fast I'm always finished
I might make mistakes, but I'm never wrong (GW Bush might be able to use this one)
Cogito Ergo Ludo (I think, Therefore I Play) 1991
"In Italy for 30 years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder and bloodshet, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love, they had 500 years of democracy and peace and what did they produce? The cuckoo clock." -- Orson Welles as Harry Lime, "The Third Man" 1949
"We're going to end up somewhere we're not going to be in." - Larry McMahon 3/8/91
Terminalogical Inexactitude - Alexander Haigspeak for lying
Who needs truth if it's dull? - Mason Williams "The Exicting Accident"
"Round up the usual suspects!" - Claude Raines in Casablanca
When it comes to stepping on each other's toes, they're going to look back at the other guy to get off their back - Joe Granville 1985
The only rule is: ANYTHING GOES! - Frank DiPaola 6/86
In the Eiger Sanction - George Kennedy: "What are you going to do about him?" -- Clint Eastwood: "Something massive."
Back off man! I'm a scientist - Bill Murray in Ghostbusters
In life, there's dumb and really dumb. The difference is pictures
You're rather attactive for a beautiful girl with a great body - Chevy Chase in Caddyshack
Persona Au Gratin & Serpintine Intelligence
I'm old, I can talk as long as I want!
I spilled spot remover on my dog and now he's gone.
The future just isn't what it used to be - Pogo
We can have archaic and eat it too!
Levels of Management
1) Gofer
2) Scapegoat
3) Bagholder
What's my name?
What is your quest?
Right now, I'm having amnesia and Deja Vu at the same time.
Never get into a fight with an ugly person. They have nothing to lose.
Don't act like you know what's going on.
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that. - George Carlin
Never follow a truck with fish decals.
Bob Hope in Paleface...
He draws from the left, so lean to the right.
There's a wind from the east, so aim to the west.
He crouches when he shoots, so stand on your toes.
Being well dressed is like being six feet tall. You either are or you aren't and there isn't much you can do about it.
Go to bed. Whatever you're staying up late for isn't worth it.
If you work moderately hard, you'll find a lot of people aren't working as hard as you.
Don't believe everything you read in the newspaper, but keep in mind that most of it is true.
If you can't afford the expensive one, don't buy it.
Aloha Suckers! - Steve McGarrett Hawaii 5-0
If nothing goes wrong, it's not a problem. 1988
When you shoot from the hip, it's easy to shoot yourself in the foot.
There are two ways of doing things - My way and the wrong way.
If people won't do it, no one can stop them.
Before I heard it, it sounded pretty good - Ken Coates
From the Big game on Nov. 20,1982 that ended with "The Play":
Gordy Cersino: "I don't want to be sour grapes, but I am."
Brent Musberger: "Get that trombone player!"
If you have a woman for a friend, you'll end up drunk and kissing your dog.
To be successful, you have to do something every day. -- Nolan Bushnell (founder of Atari)
They were below sub-par! Mike Viramontes 12/88
I can never get enough garlic in my life. - Waitress at Quinn's Lighthouse
If the Jamaican Pirates don't get you, the cold embrace of the sea will and that's no lover's kiss. -- Romer Treece (Robert Shaw in "The Deep")
When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbably, must be the truth -- Sherlock Holmes ("The Sign of the Four")
It's casual to the most obvious observer.
Nothing in life is worth going crazy.
I'm putting it through it's ropes.
The first time only happens once.
Take me to the tree! - crap player in Reno on a roll looking to hit another point
We have met the enemy and he is us - Pogo
That was then, this is now.
The swab you deck may be yourself.
If the shoe fits, you're lucky - Malcom Forbes
It was a mental strain on my body - Sugar Ray Leonard (middleweight boxing champ)
Leave it to the experts - Ken Coates
If the truth hurts, make him wear it - Motto of the Blunt Instrument 1979 Oregon St. - Ken Coates
When in doubt, don't - Ken Coates
No matter what happens here, the future lies ahead.
Haul ass! Haul ass! - The Commodore in the brutally wierd "Popeye" movie
"This may defy the laws of gravity, but I've never studies law." - Bugs Bunny
"Getting beat by an 8 year old is brutal." - Ken Coates 11/27/05 while playing bumper pool with Will & Katie. Katie said it would be brutal to get beat by a 3 year old.
It's not necessarily necessary! 10/87
What is two days to a sheep?
I'm not loafing, I work so fast I'm always finished
I might make mistakes, but I'm never wrong (GW Bush might be able to use this one)
Cogito Ergo Ludo (I think, Therefore I Play) 1991
"In Italy for 30 years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder and bloodshet, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love, they had 500 years of democracy and peace and what did they produce? The cuckoo clock." -- Orson Welles as Harry Lime, "The Third Man" 1949
"We're going to end up somewhere we're not going to be in." - Larry McMahon 3/8/91
Terminalogical Inexactitude - Alexander Haigspeak for lying
Who needs truth if it's dull? - Mason Williams "The Exicting Accident"
"Round up the usual suspects!" - Claude Raines in Casablanca
When it comes to stepping on each other's toes, they're going to look back at the other guy to get off their back - Joe Granville 1985
The only rule is: ANYTHING GOES! - Frank DiPaola 6/86
In the Eiger Sanction - George Kennedy: "What are you going to do about him?" -- Clint Eastwood: "Something massive."
Back off man! I'm a scientist - Bill Murray in Ghostbusters
In life, there's dumb and really dumb. The difference is pictures
You're rather attactive for a beautiful girl with a great body - Chevy Chase in Caddyshack
Persona Au Gratin & Serpintine Intelligence
I'm old, I can talk as long as I want!
I spilled spot remover on my dog and now he's gone.
The future just isn't what it used to be - Pogo
We can have archaic and eat it too!
Levels of Management
1) Gofer
2) Scapegoat
3) Bagholder
What's my name?
What is your quest?
Right now, I'm having amnesia and Deja Vu at the same time.
Never get into a fight with an ugly person. They have nothing to lose.
Don't act like you know what's going on.
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that. - George Carlin
Never follow a truck with fish decals.
Bob Hope in Paleface...
He draws from the left, so lean to the right.
There's a wind from the east, so aim to the west.
He crouches when he shoots, so stand on your toes.
Being well dressed is like being six feet tall. You either are or you aren't and there isn't much you can do about it.
Go to bed. Whatever you're staying up late for isn't worth it.
If you work moderately hard, you'll find a lot of people aren't working as hard as you.
Don't believe everything you read in the newspaper, but keep in mind that most of it is true.
If you can't afford the expensive one, don't buy it.
Aloha Suckers! - Steve McGarrett Hawaii 5-0
If nothing goes wrong, it's not a problem. 1988
When you shoot from the hip, it's easy to shoot yourself in the foot.
There are two ways of doing things - My way and the wrong way.
If people won't do it, no one can stop them.
Before I heard it, it sounded pretty good - Ken Coates
From the Big game on Nov. 20,1982 that ended with "The Play":
Gordy Cersino: "I don't want to be sour grapes, but I am."
Brent Musberger: "Get that trombone player!"
If you have a woman for a friend, you'll end up drunk and kissing your dog.
To be successful, you have to do something every day. -- Nolan Bushnell (founder of Atari)
They were below sub-par! Mike Viramontes 12/88
I can never get enough garlic in my life. - Waitress at Quinn's Lighthouse
If the Jamaican Pirates don't get you, the cold embrace of the sea will and that's no lover's kiss. -- Romer Treece (Robert Shaw in "The Deep")
When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbably, must be the truth -- Sherlock Holmes ("The Sign of the Four")
It's casual to the most obvious observer.
Nothing in life is worth going crazy.
I'm putting it through it's ropes.
The first time only happens once.
Take me to the tree! - crap player in Reno on a roll looking to hit another point
We have met the enemy and he is us - Pogo
That was then, this is now.
The swab you deck may be yourself.
If the shoe fits, you're lucky - Malcom Forbes
It was a mental strain on my body - Sugar Ray Leonard (middleweight boxing champ)
Leave it to the experts - Ken Coates
If the truth hurts, make him wear it - Motto of the Blunt Instrument 1979 Oregon St. - Ken Coates
When in doubt, don't - Ken Coates
No matter what happens here, the future lies ahead.
Haul ass! Haul ass! - The Commodore in the brutally wierd "Popeye" movie
"This may defy the laws of gravity, but I've never studies law." - Bugs Bunny
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
Hurricanes vs. Riots
1. If Saddam could have gotten nukes, we and the whole world would have been in massive trouble, so we're lucky he was unsuccessful and we don't have to ever worry about him any more, so we are better off
2. Scooter Libby is a big fat liar and he lied because it was very close to the election, he wanted to delay things and I think he didn't know that Fitzgerald would go so hard on the reporters and he thought he could get away with it
3. it's a really bad idea to tell anybody without secret clearance top secret info and those who do that, whether it's officially a crime or not, should lose their secret clearance. there should be a new law that says that and it's hard to believe that part of keeping your secret clearance doesn't already include that
4. I'm 100% sure that no POTUS would ever lie to get us into a war. I do think that Bush should have been more cautious and that Rummy was and still is the big problem because of his lame planning and Bush should have accepted one of his resignations.
5. Unless somehow, which seems impossible now, before 2008 the Israel/Palestinian problem in the West Bank is fixed, history will show that Bush wasn't a very good president. I just can't see anything good coming in Iraq.
6. I read in today's paper that they are finally using US troops to seal the Syrian border. more dumb planning. that should have been done a year ago when they realized that all these foreign fighters were coming in.
7. I'm still happy Kerry didn't win, which might also be ironic. if he hadn't been moronic, he might have won.
8. I'm waiting for a Presidential candidate with the following platform: The goal of the USA will be that within 10 years, we will not import one drop of Mideast Oil. We will only subsidize Big Oil for Canadian Tar Sands research to lower the price to directly compete with crude. We will drill in ANWAR, but also raise CAFE standards. Go forward with a Manhattan style program for wind, solar, tidal and other non-foreign sources of power. Fully fund stem cell research to compete with the Koreans and the rest of the world (it's going to be embarrassing if some other country discovers a cure for diabetes or helps people with spinal cord injuries and we've restricted the research, not to mention very costly).
2. Scooter Libby is a big fat liar and he lied because it was very close to the election, he wanted to delay things and I think he didn't know that Fitzgerald would go so hard on the reporters and he thought he could get away with it
3. it's a really bad idea to tell anybody without secret clearance top secret info and those who do that, whether it's officially a crime or not, should lose their secret clearance. there should be a new law that says that and it's hard to believe that part of keeping your secret clearance doesn't already include that
4. I'm 100% sure that no POTUS would ever lie to get us into a war. I do think that Bush should have been more cautious and that Rummy was and still is the big problem because of his lame planning and Bush should have accepted one of his resignations.
5. Unless somehow, which seems impossible now, before 2008 the Israel/Palestinian problem in the West Bank is fixed, history will show that Bush wasn't a very good president. I just can't see anything good coming in Iraq.
6. I read in today's paper that they are finally using US troops to seal the Syrian border. more dumb planning. that should have been done a year ago when they realized that all these foreign fighters were coming in.
7. I'm still happy Kerry didn't win, which might also be ironic. if he hadn't been moronic, he might have won.
8. I'm waiting for a Presidential candidate with the following platform: The goal of the USA will be that within 10 years, we will not import one drop of Mideast Oil. We will only subsidize Big Oil for Canadian Tar Sands research to lower the price to directly compete with crude. We will drill in ANWAR, but also raise CAFE standards. Go forward with a Manhattan style program for wind, solar, tidal and other non-foreign sources of power. Fully fund stem cell research to compete with the Koreans and the rest of the world (it's going to be embarrassing if some other country discovers a cure for diabetes or helps people with spinal cord injuries and we've restricted the research, not to mention very costly).
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Notary Sojack
I passed the California State Notary test and I am commissioned by the Secretary of State as of 18-Oct-05. I used my new fax printer for the first time today and that worked perfect...
I'm taking the oath of office tomorrow, just like the Prez and then after I file some paperwork, I'm official.
I'm taking the oath of office tomorrow, just like the Prez and then after I file some paperwork, I'm official.
Saturday, August 20, 2005
Texas Hold Em Poker
This is my new look when playing poker
I don't know if it will help, but it couldn't hurt. They are called Oakley Crosshair, so you better watch out because I can see you, but you can't see me. The eyes are the window to the soul and with these glasses on, while playing poker, my soul is a mystery...
Thursday, July 28, 2005
the lost 'lost' promo
Click here for the Lost dancing promo from Australia
here is the secret Lost script page that was hidden on the Oceanic Airlines web site.
Thursday, July 21, 2005
Lost - the TV Show and the Secret Messages
Who else got the Lost newsletter from ABC? Did you find the 2 secret messages and the crumpled up page of future script? What do you know about a Mapinguari? Let me know if you need help finding the secrets.
Oceanic Air Web page
Dear Frequent Flyer -
Welcome to Oceanic Airlines -- and thank you for signing up for a weekly bulletin from the writers of "Lost."
We have just reconvened to begin work on Season 2 of the series - after some much-needed vacation and a highly eventful first year that began with the crash of Oceanic Airlines 815 and literally ended with a bang as Jack, Locke and Kate blew open the mysterious hatch while young Walt was kidnapped by The Others... and yes, they were The Others!
As we set out to dramatize such mysteries as the contents of the mysterious hatch and the uncertain fate of Michael, Sawyer and Jin, last seen treading water among the burning remains of the raft -- we thought you might want to know the writers who will be responsible for bringing you the answers -- and a whole lot of new questions -- during the second season.
In addition to series creators J.J. Abrams and Damon Lindelof, Carlton Cuse returns as executive producer. "Lost" is a reunion for Cuse and Lindelof - who worked together on Cuse's creation "Nash Bridges" (Cuse also created "Martial Law" and co-created "The Adventures of Brisco County Jr"). Before co-creating "Lost," Lindelof served as writer/producer on "Crossing Jordan."
New additions to the staff include co-executive producer Steven Maeda, whose previous credits include "The X-Files" and "CSI: Miami," supervising producer Craig Wright, who previously wrote for HBO's "Six Feet Under," and producer Elzabeth Sarnoff, whose previous credits include "Deadwood" and "Crossing Jordan."
Returning from season one are supervising producers Leonard Dick, whose credits include "Fastlane" and "Hack," Edward Kitsis and Adam Horowitz, formerly of "Felicity" and "Popular," and Javier Grillo-Marxuach who previously wrote on "Boomtown" and "The Pretender."
With this team in place, you can be sure that "Lost" will pack on the surprises on year two. As a Frequent Flyer, you will receive regular updates from the writers room -- so watch your inbox...
...and thank you for getting lost with us!
Saturday, July 09, 2005
Penguin Nightmare vs. the March of the Penguins
Emporer Penguin Nightmare
This is a video talking about my Emporer Penguin nightmare. I made it for a TV show that never came into existance as a audition tape.
Now some crazy French guy made a movie about Emporer Penguins called March of the Penguins and there are scenes that duplicate my nightmare which I haven't had for over 10 years. It's very creepy, but funny. I'm not sure if I'll be able to watch the movie.
here is a link to the movie trailer.
March of the Penguins movie trailer
This is a video talking about my Emporer Penguin nightmare. I made it for a TV show that never came into existance as a audition tape.
Now some crazy French guy made a movie about Emporer Penguins called March of the Penguins and there are scenes that duplicate my nightmare which I haven't had for over 10 years. It's very creepy, but funny. I'm not sure if I'll be able to watch the movie.
here is a link to the movie trailer.
March of the Penguins movie trailer
Thursday, May 26, 2005
TLC Rule of Three
The TLC Rule of Three states: if you get 3 questions on the same subject , then everyone really wants to know and if you want to prevent the 4th question, you better answer the question and tell everyone. "One, two, five!" -- Arthur, MontyPython and the HolyGrail
Friday, April 15, 2005
April 6th - the day I said no to Gastric Bypass surgery
I'm going to start posting all the details about my experiences in losing weight.
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