Thursday, December 30, 2004

What Kind of Movie Am I?

If I were a movie, I'd be a Suspenseful Thriller

Nothing is simple. Especially you. Like your movie match, you've got lots of plot twists, and you'd like to keep it that way. That's right, you're no open book.

Whether or not you actually lurk in the shadows, you do like to keep people in the dark sometimes. Mysterious and enigmatic, you keep people guessing. When they think they've got you figured out, you enjoy throwing a curve ball their way. Maybe it's the element of surprise that tickles your fancy. Perhaps it's the shock value. Or maybe you're just intensely private. In any case, you keep life intriguing and unpredictable. And that's what makes you such an interesting individual.

I took a test online and answer 20 questions about movies. It seems true to me. What do you think?

I couldn't find the original quiz, but here is a quiz that tells you which classic movie you are. I'm Easy Rider.

Monday, November 08, 2004

How to be a Red State Democrat

If the democrats were smart, they would help the respongicans pass marriage laws in all the other states where it's not already a law in 2005 to get it over with. if democrats were smart (and this is being cynical) they would have Cancer/Diabetes benifits instead of AIDS benefits - because nobody in the red states are gay or get AIDS, but diabetes is so pervasive that you see lots of diabetes tester ads on TV and everyone can get cancer.

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

The SPAZ act of 2005

Ironically, Congress' one attempt to deal with the legacy of 2000 may lead to the greatest legal fights in 2004. Two years ago, Congress passed the Help America Vote Act (HAVA). It sought to address some of the problems from the last election by imposing a new requirement on the states.

This election will lead to the Stinking Politicians Are Zeros Act (SPAZ). It deports all people who show an interest in being a politician to the island of Bora Bora because the American public is just bored with them, the half-truths, the ads, etc., so they can live on their own island and Bora Bora themselves and leave the rest of us alone.

Saturday, October 23, 2004

Swift Boats vs. Swift Canoes

It's obvious that swift boat attacks are working much better on Kerry than they ever did on the Viet Cong.

this is the most confused, stupid, asinine, worthless, unimportant issue brought up in a presidential election since the swift canoe smear of 1840 against William Henry "Tippecanoe" Harrison.

Did he tip over his canoe on purpose? were there actually any enemy arrows being shot? did he get a purple heart by dropping a cannonball on his own foot? was his 2nd purple heart really just a wardrobe malfunction on his buckskins? did Martin Van Buren oppose the annexation of Texas because a gypsy fortune teller told him about GW Bush being born in the future?

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Who's vote is going to count?

It's not my vote that will make the difference because I live in California, it's the votes of people in Florida, Wisconsin, New Jersey & Ohio..

Personally, I wish there were 2 other candidates running. Now they are blaming each other for a plant in England having a problem with flu vaccine. How ridiculous is that?

I'm more of an Arnold kind of guy - lower taxes, help business, better education, save the environment & stem cell research. Unfortunately, there is no "moderate, middle of the road" party to nominate a candidate.

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

Tom Clancy Democrat - no longer undecided

I’m not with President Bush on stem cells, energy policy, environment, etc. but as a true blue Tom Clancy Democrat (I call myself that because in this election, fighting the terrorists trumps the other issues and I’m sure there are many people just like me), I’m no longer undecided after hearing and reading about what Kerry said about terrorism. I was undecided until this weekend. I wanted to vote for Kerry, but I was sure there would be something in the debates or in the last few weeks that would help me make up my mind.

In a cover story in the latest New York Times Magazine, Kerry said: "We have to get back to the place where we were, where terrorists are not the focus of our lives, but they're a nuisance." He said that, like prostitution and illegal gambling, terrorism will never go away. "But we're going to reduce it ... to a level where it isn't on the rise. It isn't threatening people's lives every day."

I don’t think he has a clue about how dangerous the terrorists are if he can say something like that… I’m a permanent absentee voter, so I’ll be voting for Bush this weekend.

Saturday, October 02, 2004

Goodbye The Yellow Saddam

I wrote this song in 1991... I guess I could update it.

Sponge Records Words by Sam O'Cates
Music Concept by Elton John

Why did you have to invade
When are you going to learn
You should have stayed in Baghdad
Should have listened to Uncle Sam

You know you're not a great leader
No Nebuchadnezzar are you
And not a person for the Arabs to worship
Palestinians are always singin'
The Blues... Ahhhhh Ahhhhh

So, goodbye Yellow Saddam
When the smart bombs started to howl
Your Air Force flew into Iran
And the Army threw in the towel

The Mother of Battles went badly for you
Most of your tanks burned down
No one will believe your future lies
We bombed the Yellow Saddam
Ahhhhh Ahhhhh

Where do you think you'll hide now
You've left your country in flames
A couple of weeks on the beaches of Yemen
Would put you on your feet again

Iraq sure needs a replacement
You better be sure you're not found
Loser like you, there haven't been many
They need someone better than you
Ahhhhh Ahhhhh

So, goodbye Yellow Saddam
When the smart bombs started to howl
Your Air Force flew into Iran
And the Army threw in the towel

The Mother of Battles went badly for you
Most of your bridges fell down
No one will believe your future lies
We bombed the Yellow Saddam
Ahhhhh Ahhhhh

Copyright Tom Coates March 7,1991

This is my movie debut in the big finale of Sister Act.

Killer John Kerry

Yeahaaaaa! As Bruce Willis said in "Die Hard", Yippee Ay Oh Kiy Yay, Mother******.

From what Kerry said at the debate on 9/30, this is exactly what he would do - he said "I would hunt them down and kill them!". Like he was Arnold in a movie like Commando. I think he was trying too hard to look tough.

I've said this a million times. the voters who haven't made up their minds are not going to be voting on the war in Iraq or against radical Islamic terrorists, unless we capture Osama or Zarqarwi... it's going to be about what it's been since 1976 - either scandal or economy.
  • 1976 - Nixon Scandal, Carter wins
  • 1980 - Bad economy, malaise, high interest rates - Reagan wins
  • 1984 - great economy - Reagan wins
  • 1988 - seemingly good economy - Bush wins
  • 1992 - bad economy - Clinton wins
  • 1996 - roaring economy - Clinton wins
  • 2000 - Monica scandal - Bush wins
  • 2004 - who knows?

Howard Dean Yell

Friday, October 01, 2004

Dreamland Theater - Now Playing: The Fifth Element

Presidential Debate 9/30/04 review

The SF Chronicle asked some undecided readers to review the Presidential debate on 9/30/04. Here is my analysis.

To: 'Coile, Zac'Subject: RE: Chronicle debate watch panel

1.) Did the debate help you make up your mind about which candidate you will vote for on Nov. 2? Why? No. I think the debate overall was a draw.

2.) What did you think of Kerry's performance in the debate? He was very sure of how he wanted to attack Bush’s record and actions, but he didn’t really say what he would do, just that it would be different and that’s not good enough. He always had a goofy smile when they showed him listening to Bush. He also said he would kill people, like he’d gun them down himself, which I thought seemed like he was trying too hard to sound tough.

3.) What did you think of Bush's performance in the debate? His main message was that to be an effective president, you have to be very clear and don’t waver or the enemy will take advantage of you. He kept laying the “mixed message” label on Kerry and Kerry didn’t rebut it much if at all. His reaction shots when Kerry was speaking made him look very annoyed like a fly was buzzing around his head and he just wanted to swat it.

4.) Which candidate did a better job explaining how he would handle the conflict in Iraq? Bush just said we’ve got a plan and Kerry just said he’s got a different plan. Bush nailed him when he said that if you call the war a diversion and the wrong war, you’re not going to get any other countries to come and help out.

5.) Which candidate did a better job explaining how he would protect the United States from terrorism? Bush said that his plan is working and the main part is taking it overseas and Kerry said about the same.

6.) What was the most memorable moment of the debate for you? Why? When the question of preemptive war was asked, Kerry said that any president can’t rule it out, but it would have to pass some “global test” and Bush sounded incredulous and said that he would just make a decision on protecting the American people.

7.) Are you going to watch the next two presidential debates? Not sure… maybe just the highlights.

8.) What more do you need to hear from the candidates to make a final decision? Kerry would have to tell me something specific and I’m not sure he can.

9.) Any other thoughts about the candidates? Or about the tone of the debate? I thought the format was fine and the questions were OK, but foreign policy could have included more than 80% Iraq.

Link to the SF Chronicle Story

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

A Tom Clancy Democrat

The Debates will decide my vote.

I decided about voting for Bush when in the 3rd debate in 2000, some nice woman with a couple of kids asked Al Gore how his tax cut plan could help her and he babbled on about 10 different hoops she'd have to jump through to get any lower taxes and you could see by the look on her face, she had no chance of doing any one of them. And he was acting dopey and we can't have a dopey president.

On the way to work I came up with a new term for a voter like me these days - they had the soccer mom, nascar dad, Reagan democrat and now security Mom.

I'm a Tom Clancy Democrat. This might become the next ubiquitous term for why democrats don't vote for Kerry.

When Sec. Rice said nobody had ever thought of people using commercial airplanes as weapons, I was incredulous. Don't these people read Tom Clancy?? What worried me was that his next novel was about terrorists getting a nuke and setting it off in the USA. What if the terrorists are running the Tom Clancy playbook?

I really don't like Bush on stem cell research, tax cuts (I think about half the population is single and doesn't have any kids, but do you ever hear anybody talk about us when they are handing out tax cuts? It's always child tax credits, marriage penalty, etc.), not vetoing the farm bill which was way out of whack, his evangelistic tendencies and lots of other things...

But getting the terrorists before they get us tips the balance to me at the moment. I'm hoping, I guess, that Kerry will show something in the debate that will convince me that he will do a good job. Realistically, it doesn't matter who I vote for because Kerry will most certainly win California, so I just vote my conscious. I knew after Kerry had won the primaries that I wouldn't be able to decide until I saw them side by side in the debates.

I think the ideal outcome is Bush wins, but the democrats take at least the Senate, so there is some check and balance again. The best years were when it was Clinton vs. the republicans - lots of jobs, balanced budget, etc. having either party completely in charge is bad mojo.