2008 is my rear view mirror!

I'm happy that 2008 is over. It was an exciting and crazy and scary year, so I'm looking for 2009 to be a bit smoother for me. Below is my 2008 Christmas letter. I realized that I hadn't written a Christmas letter since 2004 and I know that's because I wasn't that happy in the intervening years. I am happy now and as a red-blooded True American, I demand my right to pursuit Happiness.

What I didn't include in my Christmas letter was:

1. the plague and infestation of rats
2. the plague and infestation of flies (summer was big fun at Dreamland - no money, but plenty of "friends")
   
3. thinking I was going to lose my house, my Dreamland and the stress that caused
4. visiting and calling lawyers and finding out that employees ain't got no rights if some "qfuuz xzsbou" doesn't like you
5. but as is my credo, I used my genius for good and not evil and the people who shall not be named (and you know who you are) will eventually get what they deserve because as we all know, at least those who are watching the "Seven Deadly Sins" series on the History Channel, that the list of sins are: lust, envy, gluttony, sloth, greed, anger and pride. Three of the sins: greed, anger and pride were directed towards me and that sounds bad to me. A triple Whammy, if you will. Better buy some asbestos sandals.
6. I will admit to some passing angry thoughts, but then I just think about the future and I'm using this blog entry partly for expunging the past year's badness.
7. I have one more thing to do before the end of 2008 and nobody will probably see it, but I will know that I did it and it's out there in the ether, which is good enough for me.

Some really good things happened in 2008:

1. I organized the JAB (Just another Birthday) party for my Dad and it was perfect and I got donations for a plaque and a dedicated redwood tree in Big Basin State Park in the Semerviren Fund's Legacy Grove.
2. I found the top expert to rid me of my pestilence.
3. I discovered massive amounts of information about the Coates' Family Tree
4. On Sept. 25th, I had a vision and I went to cash in all my retirement accounts. On Sept. 29th, the Dow Jones dropped 777 points and I felt strangely at peace. Someone was looking out for me.
5. On July 14, 2008, I started working at Wind River. It is so nice to be appreciated for my hard work and dedication. It had been a long time.
   

I wish everyone and I mean everyone, a very Happy 2009!

Christmas 2008 Change, roller coasters, family and how the Monster saved the day.

On the calendar that I have in my office (I always get a movie poster calendar) the month of December is the poster for Godzilla. How perfect is that for symbolism? Godzilla was changed by a catastrophic event and this year has had plenty of big events for everyone that changed things in a big way. But in my story, the Monster also saves the day, but more about that later…

I guess 2008 was always going to be a memorable year. For me it started out by working on my Dad’s JAB (Just Another Birthday) party. I dusted off the old family photographs and found out that online Genealogy had improved massively, so I was able to find a lot more family members and info about them. I discovered Great Uncle James Coates and his family who stayed in England. I cranked up my scanner and got the family photos online, some of them over 100 years old. It was fun to figure out who was who.

To my surprise, I got an email saying: “You’ve got my Grandfather’s photo on your site. It was Barbara Astle, granddaughter of William Coates. She had lots of Coates’ family documents, photos & the family bible. I took a road trip to visit her and her husband David and we were able to figure out who was who in some really old photos. I learned that the ears & chin don’t change much from age 3 to 83. The photo of Crater Lake was taken on that trip.

Then I also found the Silliman family, another cousin, Cliff, who’s the grandson of Jessie Coates. So this was a year to find old and new family and celebrate the family.

The political scene this year was change and life changed for me major league big time. Losing my job after 16 years was a shocking surprise. When you’ve worked with people that long, they are like a 2nd family and now I understand more about dysfunctional families and as I was driving home, I felt strangely happy. I took my unexpected time off to donate about 600 gallons of clothes to the Goodwill, which made me feel good and I know helped lots of people. I also discovered freecycle.org, which let me cull without mercy a bunch of items that I didn’t need, but others did. It was a house cleansing and Dreamland is almost back to its heyday. I got the Fireball pinball machine tuned up, so it’s playing better than ever and I installed the Dreamland Weather Station that’s serving up weather data to the Internet.


The stock market has been like a rollercoaster this year, mostly a long downhill scream ride and I’m feeling blessed and fortunate that the Monster (monster.com) came along, picked out my resume and saved my bacon and my house from a crash and burn. Now things are great with me working at Wind River in Alameda with a great bunch of people and doing enjoyable work again after such a long time.

So 2008 has been a year of discovering new family and friends and getting rid of old baggage and I’m sure that 2009 is going to be a fantastic year. I always feel blessed to have a close and supportive family and I couldn’t do it without them.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year
TLC

Froggy

I've got a frog in my front courtyard. He's very loud because I can hear him over the TV way in the back. I guess he's looking for Mrs. Frog. He's out there ribbiting away every night and today because it was foggy (rhymes with froggy), he was making his music, so I recorded it.

Click here for Froggy of Dreamland.

This is my 100th post.

Someone asked me if having a frog making noise was annoying. I said no and then Froggy vanished for about a week and I missed him.

Tonight he came back, so I went outside in the faint hope of getting a photo of him, when I know he's hiding behind the fountain.

BUT!!!! I made a noise and he answered and then I had a conversation with Froggy which I guarantee will make you laugh.

Click here for "My Conversation with Froggy".

Triskaidekaphobia

This is my 99th post and it's been a pretty good Friday the 13th for me... Much better than usual. I got in the 2 Cents again because I like to send in a funny answer and most everyone else is serious...

Mitt Romney - Great White Varmint Hunter

...The former Massachusetts governor, Mitt Romney has called himself a lifelong hunter, yet his campaign acknowledged that he has been on just two hunting trips -- one when he was 15 and the other just last year.

Campaigning in Indianapolis on Thursday, Romney said he has hunted small game since his youth.
"I'm not a big-game hunter. I've made that very clear," he said. "I've always been a rodent and rabbit hunter. Small varmints, if you will...
Yosemite Sam has a couple of comments about Mitt and his Varmint Hunting - Comment 1 - Comment 2.
Another intelligent cartoon based political statement made by Mitt.



My Political Prediction for Mitt -

Mitt is still toast - his latest goofballism - On Monday afternoon (5/21/07), McCain made fun of Romney's evolving positions on other issues when asked about the immigration controversy during a conference call with bloggers.

"In the case of Gov. Romney, you know, maybe I should wait a couple of weeks and see if it changes, because it's changed in less than a year from his position before," McCain said. "And maybe his solution will be to get out his small-varmint gun and drive those Guatemalans off his lawn. I don't know."

The jab squeezed in references to two past controversies: Romney's backtrack on an April comment that he'd "been a hunter pretty much all my life" -- he later said he had shot "varmints, if you will," such as rabbits, as a child; and a 2006 report in The Boston Globe that a landscaping firm Romney hired to maintain his home for years had hired illegal immigrants.

2007 NCAA Final Four

Last year, I predicted the outcome of the final 4 in the March Madness, NCAA Basketball Tournament by using the Mascot theory. This year, I have a monetary interest, so luckily for me, I can manipulate the outcome and still make logical Mascot vs. Mascot sense, such as it is...

We have the UCLA Bruins vs. the Florida Gators again, just like the championship game in 2006. Last year I said that Gators would eat a LSU Tiger, but that's only if they get them into the water and I had a Tiger eat a baby Bruin. This year, we've got a real life king size Grizzly Bear, which can put a big time chomping on any Florida Gator (I saw a demo on the Discovery Channel and a bear can bite right through the head of an alligator).

Then we have the Ohio St. Buckeyes vs. the Georgetown Hoyas. A Buckeye is a giant tree and I don't care what the Georgetown website says, according to Wikipedia, a Hoya is a small flowering plant, so obviously, a giant tree defeats all small flowers. That's an easy pick.

So in the final game, we have Bruins vs. Buckeyes and as you can see from this photo, the giant tree will fall and crush any bear... So GO BUCKEYES!!

UFOs, Alien Kidnapping & the Hindenberg

News Item: France became the first country to open its files on UFOs Thursday when the national space agency unveiled a website documenting more than 1,600 sightings spanning five decades. The online archives, which will be updated as new cases are reported, catalogues in minute detail cases ranging from the easily dismissed to a handful that continue to perplex even hard-nosed scientists. "It is a world first," said Jacques Patenet, the aeronautical engineer who heads the office for the study of "non-identified aerospatial phenomena." French UFO Website

I'm not sure if I really was kidnapped by aliens, but the story below is true.

When I was 13 years old, I would take the same bus every day to school. I had to walk about 10 minutes to the corner to the bus stop (AC Transit) that came around 7:15am. one day, I left at the usual time and I got to the bus stop and waited and waited and waited and finally a bus came and it was the 10:30am bus. I've never worn a watch, so I had no idea what time it was, but somehow about 3 hours went missing from my consciousness, so I've always just figured I was kidnapped by aliens and they couldn't deal with me, so they just put me back.

Or maybe that's why I am the way I am?

I once thought I saw a UFO, but I figured out it was someone from the other side of the street that shot off a Roman Candle right over the top of our house.

I did try to create a UFO on Halloween, but it's probably lucky my plan failed. For some reason, when I was a kid, the Chemistry sets you could buy had lots of dangerous chemicals (life was so much more fun back in the good olde days, eh?) and I figured out how to make Hydrogen gas and in my wierd mind, I thought I would take a couple of dry cleaning plastic bags doubled up for strength, fill them up with hydrogen gas that I was going to make in the garage, put a gondola full of lighter fluid underneath, make a slow burning fuse, which I was able to make with my chemistry set and float it up over the town on Halloween night and when it blew up in a Hindenberg Jr. like explosion, I would see the story in the paper the next day. What an excellent idea, eh? Make hydrogen gas in the garage with a car full of gasoline..

Well, lucky for me and the rest of my family, I failed miserably. and I was truely miserable afterwards. as I was putting a glass funnel into the rubber stopper which I was going to use to mix the chemicals, the glass tube broke (I didn't know you were supposed to use Glycerin to make the glass slide through the hole) and I jammed about 2 inches of the tube into my right hand right between the thumb and index finger in the nice fleshy part and then it broke off making a nice tube where all the blood could nicely squirt out easily and quite a lot of it did flow.

My Dad was watching football and as calmly as I could (this part is fuzzy in my mind because it's so long ago, so maybe it was a panicky scream?) said I needed some help. We went down to the hospital, I had to wait for what seemed like a really long time with a bloody towel wrapped around my hand, the doctor shot me up with some anesthetic and in about 2 seconds stuck a jagged glass tube held in tweezers in front of my face and said: "Is this it?" Those doctors are such jokers!! Since is was scientific glass, it has lead in it, so it will show up in an X-Ray and there was one small piece left in my hand and it floated around for about 10 years, sometimes coming near the surface and causing pain when I shifted gears while driving. Thankfully, it's stuck somewhere deep inside and it just leaves me alone.

The moral of this story is: If you ever get the idea to recreate the Hindenberg disaster, just watch the film of it bursting into flames and think about the "Humanity".

Hindenberg Video

Q: How Cold Was It This Weekend? (13-Jan-07)

How Cold Was It Jokes

A: It was so cold in Castro Valley that running water in my front courtyard fountain froze.

Here is my photo album link. There are 10 photos in the album.

Random Stuff to wind down 2006

I'm doing a cull without mercy clean up of my office which hasn't been done since I put in the furniture, so it was due.

I found an envelope with another bunch of collected quotes and new articles from various sources and some that I created, so I'm just going to share them.

The Hormel company, manufacturers of Spam, celebrated the 50th anniversary of the luncheon meat by designating the town's July 4th celebrations as "Spam Days". Among the festivities were a "Spam-o-rama" cookoff and a "Salute to Spam" air show. A bitter strike against Hormel ended in September and not everyone has made up.

"Hormel has co-opted the Fourth of July holiday and turned it into a glorifcation of pig meat in a can," said Jim Guyette, former leader of the union. T-shirts reading "Scab City, USA" and "Cram the Spam" were seen alongside company-issue Spamwear.

One of my all time favorite TV shows - "You're travelling through another dimension. A dimension, not only of sight and sound, but of mind. A journey into a wonderous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. Next stop - the Twilight Zone!" - Rod Serling

Laissez les bon temps rouler! - pronounced: "Lay-say lay bon tom rule-ay!"

San Francisco Chronicle - Friday, December 6, 1991
Hayward Tom responded to our call for infomation on various football handicapping systems. He said he uses the Visi-Calc program for an Apple II PC to enter weekly data and compute his picks. At the 11 week mark, he was humming along nicely at 64.8%, he said.

Tom added: "Good luck and I'm glad to see that Larry Stumes is over 50%. I used to use the "Stumes Factor" to pick my games. If he picked the opposite way than I did, I was sure to win.

Tom was referring to back to an infamous off-year that Chronicle racing handicapper Stumes had when he was doing the football predicting.

1. If you don't let anybody in, no one can hurt you.
2. The more complex the mind, the greater the need for simplicity of play - Capt. Kirk
3. 25 G's is a lot of cabbage. Where are we going to glom onto it? Pony up the dough
4. Special words from 2001 - Nabonga, Sock the Weasel, Uncle Gruesome, Nothing but trouble, Side Effects and Wake the Banshee
5. Pardon my side effects
6. A bad Psychic is better than a good Astrologer
7. A little kid & his mom are heading into a grocery store and he says: "No basket for me" and she points and says: "BASKET!!" and he starts crying and gets into the basket. (true story)
8. Turning negative thoughts into positive actions
9. There's more spin control around Dan Quayle than Minnesota Fats ever needed
10. Question to TLC in 1990 - Have you always been this way? TLC: "The older I get, the funnier I get."
11. Tickle my fancy and I'll follow you anywhere
12. Crossfire 17-Aug-88 - Senator Alan Simpson: "You're looking for something that isn't there. You're looking into George Bush's head."
13. Imagination is more important than knowledge - Albert Einstein
14. A riddle from a Sherlock Holmes movie - Sherlock Holmes Faces Death (1943) - Who's was it? His who is gone. Who shall have it? He who shall come. What shall be the month? The last from the first.
15. Character name for some future story - Martin Stumbles, Esq.
16. Chinese/Russian Detective - Won Wong Steppe
17. Those people want me, but they can't touch me because the old man love my ass
18. An old alias - Joe Cose. Jocose \jo-kos\ adj 1: given to jokes and jesting 2: characterized by joking

A Visit from St. Mick (Aussie Style)

A Visit From St. Mick (Aussie Style)

(With apologies to Clement Clarke Moore)

'Twas the night before Christmas, in the land of Oz,
Uncle Jocko was over, you know, the one with the schnoz.
The Fosters were flowing, there was a smell in the air,
We knew what it was, we just didn't know where.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While we put ice bags on top of our heads.
We were waiting for St. Mick, the one with the swag,
Last year he showed up driving a Jag.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
Told the wife to check it out before she gets fatter.
Away to the window she flew like a flash,
She must have thought he was bringing some cash.

The moon on her breasts gave me a big thrill,
I had better slow down or I'll be needing a pill.
I went to the window and put on my socks,
To my surprise, I saw a beer wagon towed by eight tiny crocs.

The driver was bent over, he seemed to be sick,
I knew in a moment - It must be St. Mick!
They were crawling real slow, they must have been lame,
He was slurring his words as he called them by name.

"Now Ripper!, now Gripper!, now Poofter and Vixen!
I'd remember the rest, if I wasn't so Blitzen!
To the top of the porch and over the walls,
If you can't fly any higher, I'll rip off your balls!"

So, up to the housetop the crocodiles flew,
With a wagon of Vegemite - and St. Mick, too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the wall,
The scraping and scratching of each tiny claw.

My head was spinning, I was feeling quite moldy,
When St. Mick waltzes in, drinkin' a coldie!
He was all dressed in leather, but his clothes were all wet,
It was hot out tonight, he smelled like Goana sweat.

A bundle of Beer he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a swagman just opening his pack.
His eyes, they were bloodshot! His sneer, how scary!
His cheeks and his nose were as red as a cherry;

"St. Mick!", I exclaimed, "Have you got something for us?
I've been drinkin' all night, my right leg must be porous!"
With a shake of his head, drool sprayed from his lips,
He spotted the women and grabbed for their hips.

He missed with his grab and went straight back to work,
He filled all the beer steins; then turned with a jerk,
And sticking his finger inside of his nose,
Blew out a big one that scared off some crows.

He fell into the wagon and broke some of the booze,
And away they all flew like they were chased by some roos.
We had enough coldies for our party to liven,
"Happy Christmas to all, and don't you go driven'!"

tlc - 1991