Lemons

I thought up a new saying today: When you are given lemons, make lemonade and then take the rest of the lemons and squirt the juice into the eyes of the person who gave you the lemons and see how they like them apples. Then just move on and don't look back.

On the Road

Just a couple of strange items while driving around.

I know it's hard to believe, but I was actually driving behind a bright canary yellow Ford Pinto and it wasn't blown up. I was kind of worried, because you never know when it might suddenly shift into reverse and blow up. Surprisingly, it looked to be in pretty good shape, although I'm sure because of it's blowupability, everyone, like me, stays far away.

Then on the way to work, I ran into a Chinese Fire Drill. But this one was special because it was real Chinese people. A very large Cadillac backed out of a driveway in front of me, blocking the whole road since it's so long. I stopped and it stopped and the husband got out of the driver's seat and changed places in the front passenger seat with his wife. As they swapped seats, they smiled and waved at me while I was stuck waiting. All I can figure is that the wife doesn't like backing the car out and the husband doesn't want to drive.

2008 NCAA Final Four

For the third year in a row, I will predict the outcome of the NCAA March Madness tournament by using my Mascot theory.

We've got University of North Carolina Tarheels vs. the Kansas Jayhawks and everyone knows once a Jayhawk lands in tar, they are history and also on the UNC logo, they've got a Ram, so that would butt the hell out of a bird, no matter how crazy the bird is. A Jayhawk wearing sneakers isn't going to scare anybody.

Tarheels stick all over Jayhawks.

Then we've got the UCLA Bruins vs. Memphis Tigers (who've only lost one game all year). I could use the baby bruin photo again. But I'll put in the actual logos for both teams.



That Memphis Tiger is going to bounce all over the Bruin. Remember, never let a cat of any size get behind you. You are history.

Tigers Eat Bruins

The Tiger can leap over any tar and would chew up that Ram with no problem, so I predict:

The Memphis Tigers chew up and spit out the North Carolina Tarheels.

New 2008 Presidential Prediction

Most elections are about pocketbook issues. it's not McCain's fault that the greedy wall street and mortgage company sponges gave out loans to so many people who couldn't afford it, but he might pay for it in November because it's still going to be affecting the overall economy.

We've gone from $25/barrel to $100/barrel oil because of 9/11 and other conflicts, which again has nothing to do with McCain. Also, it's very rare to have 12 years of one party as Prez because a lot of people are just tired and want something new. McCain is never going to be shiny & new.

He's very gloomy and if he's going to use the anti-hope argument - "Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate", or "Abandon all hope, ye who enter here", I don't think he's got much of a chance.

2008 Presidential Candidates - Do they support poker?

Do the major 2008 Presidential Candidates support poker? Check it out for yourself and then let your favorite candidate know what you think!

Join the PPA - Poker Players Alliance.

Don't let Mitt Romney (and his henchman, my evil twin, Evil Tom Coates) become President. Sign the ABM Treaty - Anybody but Mitt.


The Democratic Frontrunners:

Hillary Clinton:

The two-term senator from New York won the New Hampshire Democratic primary. She has recently expressed that she supports the industry’s position: to study Internet gambling to see whether it can be fairly regulated so that individuals can safely participate in it and American businesses can compete in the international market (Las Vegas Sun, 01/18/08). When contacting the campaign, be sure to let them know you are an undecided voter and a proud poker player.

http://www.hillaryclinton.com/help/contact/


Barack Obama:

The senator is from Illinois and winner of the Iowa Democratic caucus. Obama has recently expressed that he worries that the Internet is "a Wild West of illegal activity", and supports a study of Internet gambling and supports regulation to address the worst abuses (Las Vegas Sun, 01/18/08). He is reputed to be a good player, and doesn't mind letting it be known that he enjoys playing poker for money. These stories are even on his own website. When contacting the campaign, be sure to let them know you are an undecided voter and a proud poker player.

http://my.barackobama.com/page/content/contact/

The Republican Frontrunners:

Mike Huckabee:

Republican Iowa caucus winner and former Arkansas governor, Mike Huckabee does have a clear position OPPOSING Internet Poker. Mike Huckabee responded to the National Coalition Against Legalized Gambling's questionnaire (the only candidate to respond, by the way). In it, he promised to veto any legislation repealing UIGEA or otherwise clearly legalizing online gaming.

Here is the question he was asked, complete with its bias and inaccuracies:

1) Last year, Congress voted overwhelming to criminalize most forms of Internet gambling. This year some members of Congress are promoting legislation to legalize Internet gambling. If such legislation passed, would you veto it? Huckabee answered "yes". That's about as clear as it gets.


John McCain:

The New Hampshire Republican primary winner does not have a specific position on Internet poker, but does appear to have been influenced by his fellow Arizona Senator Jon Kyl, who is a vigorous opponent of our rights. McCain, however, has always been willing to consider both sides of an issue and may simply need to know how strongly PPA members feel about this issue. We encourage you to contact his campaign and ask whether he has a specific position, and of course, to let them know you are an undecided voter and a proud poker player.

http://www.johnmccain.com/Contact/


Ron Paul:

In keeping with his Libertarian philosophy, Congressman Paul is a proud supporter of our cause. Rep. Paul has supported and sponsored pro-poker legislation, and has also made time to visit with PPA grassroots members, poker celebrities, and citizens lobbyists every time we have asked. His credentials on allowing adults the freedom to play poker are unblemished.


Mitt Romney:

The former governor of Massachusetts has no formal position on internet poker. However, he - like Giuliani - has contorted his issue positions wildly in a bid to gain support from social conservatives. As part of that effort, Romney tapped Tom Coates, Vice President, Truth About Gambling, Iowa, to his "Faith and Values Steering Committee." Coates, in turn, is vigorously opposed to gaming of any sort. We urge you to contact the Romney campaign, and ask whether the candidate has a specific position. As always, be sure to tell them you're an undecided voter and a proud poker player.

http://www.mittromney.com/ContactUs

GOP Veep

I predict that no matter who's the GOP nominee, it will be Fred Thompson as Veep. he's perfect for the job. it's not too much work if you don't want it to be, he'd be good as a one VP debate hammer because those writers are not on strike, you get to travel around the world with your hot wife in a fancy plane visiting live or dead dignitaries and if you don't shoot anybody, the late night comics won't make fun of you.

2008 Political Thoughts and Bon Mots

I watch Meet the Press, Face the Nation, McLaughlin Group and The News Hour on Friday just for Shields & Brooks every week. I TiVo everything, so I zoom ahead of the boring stuff. I watch Hardball sometimes (always on Friday), but I can't always take Chris Mathews - I like listening to Pat Buchanan's opinions - he's funny. on the radio coming into work, I often listen to Flush Lintball and on the way home, I listen to Sean Hannity. I always watch Countdown with Olbermann and Daily Show. I think I get a pretty broad spectrum of ideas and opinions. I'm still a Tom Clancy Democrat.

I had a new thought. If McCain wins NH, that's the worst scenario for Rudy because McCain will still be in on Feb 5th and Romney with his big $$ won't drop out before then either, so there will still be 4 candidates and the true conservatives don't like McCain because of Immigration and voting against the Bush Tax Cuts and McCain-Feingold campaign finance reforms, they don't like Rudy because of his liberal social stances and they don't like Romney because he's a weasly flip-flopper plus 25% who don't like Mormons, so that leaves Huckleberry to pick up a plurality of the votes and win a bunch on Feb 5th.

My previous predictions are looking good so far. April 12, 2007 - "Romney is toast" and November 14, 2006 - "A Stone Cold Lock that the next President won't be Hillary or McCain." You can look it up.

My Career Personality Type

Your Career Personality Type

We've already discussed your Right Job and your Wrong Job, but you still might be wondering, more specifically, how we found them. While you were taking the test, we determined your scores on six different personality dimensions. No one dimension is any better or worse than the others, but each one is quite distinct and offers insights into your unique combination of attributes, outlooks, and sensibilities.

Your Right Job is what fell out of the equation when we looked at a couple different aspects of your career personality — more specifically, your primary and secondary personality types. Your Wrong Job is what fell out of the inverse equation, what resulted from your lowest scores on the personality dimensions. But for now, let's focus on your Right Job that was determined by your career personality.

Based on the way you answered the test questions, your primary personality type is Analytical, while your secondary personality type is Creative.

Knowing your type is important for a number of reasons: it will help bring to light aspects of your personality you hadn't thought about before, it will raise issues about matching your personality to a career that you might not have previously considered.

Here's an explanation of what that code and what your primary and secondary personalities mean.


Primary Classification

-Analytical-

As an Analytical type, your inquisitive nature helps you enjoy the complexities of life. You understand that sometimes there are no clear right and wrong answers, and that's okay with you because you tolerate gray areas better than most. In fact, pondering potential outcomes can sometimes be more interesting than coming up with the definitive solution for you. You march to your own drum and enjoy being in charge more than working and compromising with others. Nothing escapes your keen observational skills, and thinking is your idea of fun.


Secondary Classification

-Creative-

As a Creative type, your ability to look at the world with a fresh perspective keeps life interesting for you and those around you. Instead of following the trends, you want to set them yourself. Establishing a routine is not your goal; you would rather go with the flow and see where your mood takes you that day. You love seeking new experiences and sensations. Your sensitive nature is often turned inward, but your passionate nature also means that you are prone to be impulsive at times.

Happy New Year 2008

There once was a year, 2007
Started out like hell, ended up like Heaven
From too much candy
To not enough lettuce
I had to deal with bad momamptum
And plenty of nomamptum
2007 was a year I hope to forget
I'd predicted that it would be a year of big change
I just didn't realize how painful it would be
Personal losery
Malicious Accusery
When someone be lyin'
You can't go on cryin'
You must always remember
When it gets to September
There is still time
To turn things around
The Union of LONO
Look Out for Number One
The lies fade away
And you can make your way
Always end up on a high note
That way you forget all the bad singing
Live life with confidence
And be a good person
As a famous novelist once said
Everyone gets what they deserve in the end
And that's the truth.

My Favorite Things

Making Will Laugh

New England Patriots - Pact with the Devil

After today's game, where the New England Patriots demolished the hapless Miami Dolphins 49-28, it's obvious that the Patriots have made a pact with the devil - a Faustian Bargain, if you will.

Tom Brady threw for 6 TD's in the game and is on an unbelievable pace. He's got 25 TD's after 7 games and he only threw for 24 all of last year.

There is only one explanation - Bill Belichick, after getting caught cheating by videotaping the opposing defensive calls, has sold his soul to Satan.

I don't like cheaters and cheating is a sin, but it is something that I would have forgiven. But hanging out with Beelzebub is over the line.

I predict that they will not lose any games this year, but will stop beating the spread, because everyone knows that the bookies also have a deal with the devil and the pointspreads will start catching up.

GOOOOOOOOOOOOO Bears! We're #3 and Fup Ducks

Cal beat the Oregon Ducks for the first time in Eugene in 20 years. We are now ranked #3 in the nation.

FUP Ducks!

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BEARS!!!

When we had season tickets, right under the KGO box, there used to be a guy with a very deep and powerful voice and we called him the GOBEARS guy. This is my tribute to him.

This says it all...

I See a Crazy Man - A True Story

This is an absolutely true story. Even I couldn't make this up.

I went to Nations for breakfast, place my order and sat in my usual place. There were only 2 people in the place. One guy was by the door, drinking coffee. I didn't really pay much attention to him. I like facing the clock, so I sat down and opened up my paper...

Over my shoulder, I heard in a fairly loud voice:

"Well, a guy comes in and sits facing away from the door, how about that."

I'm thinking - oh, oh, this guy's talking about me and he's strange and he's very large. I decide to just ignore him, but it goes on the whole time while I'm having breakfast.

"I saw a crazy man over in McDonalds... I saw a crazy man over in Starbucks... Crazy people make me nervous, crazy people make me nervous... I don't eat eggs. I don't eat eggs. I'm not an egg person and I don't know why... WELL, congratulations to C&H Sugar!! - 100 years of putting people to sleep..."

I'm thinking there must be a lot of mirrors in McDonalds & Starbucks and then he starts snapping his fingers and singing...

"I've got waffles, yes I do, I've got waffles, one or two... I've got waffles, round or square, I've got waffles everywhere..."

I walked out while he kept singing, averting my eyes in case he might give me the stink eye and I'd start singing...