Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Strange, Wierd & Funny Quotes

I've collected these quotes over the years and I just wanted to share them with the world... there is no rhyme or reason for them, they just are what they are. Use them wisely if you dare.

"Getting beat by an 8 year old is brutal." - Ken Coates 11/27/05 while playing bumper pool with Will & Katie. Katie said it would be brutal to get beat by a 3 year old.

It's not necessarily necessary! 10/87

What is two days to a sheep?

I'm not loafing, I work so fast I'm always finished

I might make mistakes, but I'm never wrong (GW Bush might be able to use this one)

Cogito Ergo Ludo (I think, Therefore I Play) 1991

"In Italy for 30 years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder and bloodshet, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love, they had 500 years of democracy and peace and what did they produce? The cuckoo clock." -- Orson Welles as Harry Lime, "The Third Man" 1949

"We're going to end up somewhere we're not going to be in." - Larry McMahon 3/8/91

Terminalogical Inexactitude - Alexander Haigspeak for lying

Who needs truth if it's dull? - Mason Williams "The Exicting Accident"

"Round up the usual suspects!" - Claude Raines in Casablanca

When it comes to stepping on each other's toes, they're going to look back at the other guy to get off their back - Joe Granville 1985

The only rule is: ANYTHING GOES! - Frank DiPaola 6/86

In the Eiger Sanction - George Kennedy: "What are you going to do about him?" -- Clint Eastwood: "Something massive."

Back off man! I'm a scientist - Bill Murray in Ghostbusters

In life, there's dumb and really dumb. The difference is pictures

You're rather attactive for a beautiful girl with a great body - Chevy Chase in Caddyshack

Persona Au Gratin & Serpintine Intelligence

I'm old, I can talk as long as I want!

I spilled spot remover on my dog and now he's gone.

The future just isn't what it used to be - Pogo

We can have archaic and eat it too!

Levels of Management
1) Gofer
2) Scapegoat
3) Bagholder

What's my name?

What is your quest?

Right now, I'm having amnesia and Deja Vu at the same time.

Never get into a fight with an ugly person. They have nothing to lose.

Don't act like you know what's going on.

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that. - George Carlin

Never follow a truck with fish decals.

Bob Hope in Paleface...
He draws from the left, so lean to the right.
There's a wind from the east, so aim to the west.
He crouches when he shoots, so stand on your toes.

Being well dressed is like being six feet tall. You either are or you aren't and there isn't much you can do about it.

Go to bed. Whatever you're staying up late for isn't worth it.

If you work moderately hard, you'll find a lot of people aren't working as hard as you.

Don't believe everything you read in the newspaper, but keep in mind that most of it is true.

If you can't afford the expensive one, don't buy it.

Aloha Suckers! - Steve McGarrett Hawaii 5-0

If nothing goes wrong, it's not a problem. 1988

When you shoot from the hip, it's easy to shoot yourself in the foot.

There are two ways of doing things - My way and the wrong way.

If people won't do it, no one can stop them.

Before I heard it, it sounded pretty good - Ken Coates

From the Big game on Nov. 20,1982 that ended with "The Play":
Gordy Cersino: "I don't want to be sour grapes, but I am."
Brent Musberger: "Get that trombone player!"

If you have a woman for a friend, you'll end up drunk and kissing your dog.

To be successful, you have to do something every day. -- Nolan Bushnell (founder of Atari)

They were below sub-par! Mike Viramontes 12/88

I can never get enough garlic in my life. - Waitress at Quinn's Lighthouse

If the Jamaican Pirates don't get you, the cold embrace of the sea will and that's no lover's kiss. -- Romer Treece (Robert Shaw in "The Deep")

When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbably, must be the truth -- Sherlock Holmes ("The Sign of the Four")

It's casual to the most obvious observer.

Nothing in life is worth going crazy.

I'm putting it through it's ropes.

The first time only happens once.

Take me to the tree! - crap player in Reno on a roll looking to hit another point

We have met the enemy and he is us - Pogo

That was then, this is now.

The swab you deck may be yourself.

If the shoe fits, you're lucky - Malcom Forbes

It was a mental strain on my body - Sugar Ray Leonard (middleweight boxing champ)

Leave it to the experts - Ken Coates

If the truth hurts, make him wear it - Motto of the Blunt Instrument 1979 Oregon St. - Ken Coates

When in doubt, don't - Ken Coates

No matter what happens here, the future lies ahead.

Haul ass! Haul ass! - The Commodore in the brutally wierd "Popeye" movie

"This may defy the laws of gravity, but I've never studies law." - Bugs Bunny

1 comment:

Tito Maury said...

Hi Carbubble, I found your post Strange, Wierd & Funny Quotes while doing some research on funny songs. I like your blog, thank you for sharing the information and keep up the good work!. I really found some useful info!
I'll be back to see if you have any posts about funny songs. Bye